Manuscripts That Were Never Meant To Be

The Jewish Jellyfish

I was trying to find a word to rhyme with jellyfish, and Jewish came up. The thought of a little jellyfish wearing a yamaka just cracked me up. It could be a rhyming picture book about Jewish traditions. He would eat knish, say a kaddish...

Walter the Racist Stork

The San Francisco Zoo is the best zoo in my area. They have a stork there, and while we were checking him out the zookeeper informed us that the stork, named Walter, hates Mexicans. The zookeeper (who was German, but had a tan so that he looked like he could be Mexican), went up to the cage and the stork freaked out. He puffed up and started pecking his very long beak through the cage. (My clueless mother-in-law commented "Wow, he has a really big pecker!" Pure comedy.) Would a picture book about a racist stork be an effective way to teach kids about the dangers of racism? If I get bored enough, I may just find out.

It's a Scab, Scab Story

The story of a scab from the perspective of the scab itself. I just like the title, for the most part. A Japanese book has already been written about scabs in an objective way, so it would have to be something really off-the-wall. I might come back to this one some day if I can figure out how to do it right. Or I might write a different book about a kid who hurts himself and use the title.

The Dork

When I was in grade school that other kids called me a dork. Which led me to wonder - what the heck is a dork, anyway? I dreamed (literally, this came to me in my sleep) about a picture book where the main character is in the same position. Imagine his reaction when he discovers that a dork is actually the technical term for a male whale's genitalia. (FYI - I just learned recently that this is not true, and is just a very pervasive urban legend) Immediately he compares himself to a male whale's genitalia. Could it play tetherball like he does? [just think about the illustration potential here] Or ride home on the bus? Could it get an "A" in algebra? Does it know how to play video games? Can it even read?? Eventually the main character would come to the conclusion that he is, in fact, quite superior to a dork, and not a dork at all. Sadly, this picture book probably wouldn’t go over well because parents aren’t generally big fans of kid’s books that feature whale genitalia. But it sure does amuse the heck out of me!